The road to the start of a non-profit is paved with hot chocolate and prayers.

Okay, there is A LOT more to the journey.

The Journey…

In 2012, I was first told I would make a great non-profit leader. I didn’t believe it, and in a time when it felt everyone I knew was wanting to start a non-profit or some start-up company, I was reluctant. I didn’t even want to consider the
idea. To humor a friend of mine, I attended a non-profit workshop in some building located in the Financial District of New York. Coming from a family of serial entrepreneurs, business and starting a business is in my blood. Ever since I was a little girl, I had imagined running my own company (while also teaching piano, and art, and performing with major symphonies all over the world. Gotta love the ambition of my childhood self!) There was even a time when I daydreamed about taking over the family business and becoming, Kathryne Fassbender, President, and CEO of White Clover Dairy. I would have my dad’s office and take what my great-grandfather, grandfather, and father dedicated their lives to building to the next level. I thought about all of this, but NEVER starting a non-profit.

I went on to take a grant writing class and volunteered with several New York not-for-profit organizations. I love this world but still was reluctant to even dream about starting my own organization, whatever that may be.

While all of this was going on, I was furthering the development of my skills in aging and dementia. I also spent my Sundays bringing the Eucharist and my faith to those in care communities on the Upper East Side. This was the
unknowing start of the Hem of Christ Ministry. I looked forward to these interactions, these moments praying with those who longed to continue their faith when the rest of the world told them it was impossible because of dementia. I wanted to continue these experiences, and build upon them to better serve those seeking to live in the fullness of their faith. I had something good and important but I didn’t know it….yet.

The Reluctant Non-Profit Explorer starts accompanying those living in various NYC care communities, help
them reconnect with their faith. After many years in the city, she moves back to Wisconsin.

Upon my move back to Wisconsin (a move that was not desired but needed due to my need to recover from some physical health issues), I started working at a care community on the Life Enrichment team. While this community had a great chaplain (who was not supported enough by the administration) and was a Methodist community, those who were Catholic, found themselves in a place of almost mockery and disrespect. Mass was called Service with very little desire to respect the traditions of our Mass. Those who wanted to go to Friday Rosary were only invited if the CNA working that shift deemed the person fit to go, because of their memory, and they often failed to find out what COULD be done to support this person’s faith. While some staff worked to make sure everyone could practice their faith, it was lackluster and, as I stated before, a bit of a mockery at times. There are many reasons for this, but I saw an opportunity
to not only pray with the residents but also start to advocate for the faith. I hate being called an Activist. I don’t like what it implies in today’s social dictionary, but I guess I could, from the outside world, be seen as one.

I became a Purple Angel Ambassador so that I could help train parishes in dementia. I created a workshop titled, Wealthy in Faith, where I help people learn how to blend the dementia and faith journey, and I continue the work I
started several years earlier.

The blending of the two faith worlds I lived in, New York and Wisconsin, gave me a foundation of experiences and my own spiritual growth that prepared me for what was about to come next.

At this point, it was still me, and only me accompanying those living with dementia on their faith journey. I was working in a silo I wanted to dismantle with no desire still to start a non-profit. I longed to serve in greater ways, in all
ways, but felt I was hitting a brick wall knowing I can do more, feeling a call to do more. A disconnect existed between my skills, my purpose, my desires, and where God was pulling at my heart. Then, I started to see the fruits of my work
and listened to what those living with dementia began to share with me. I knew then, that my ambition (my drive that from the outside world was viewed as stubbornness) was a spiritual ambition and that maybe, heaven forbid, God was truly calling me to start a non-profit. I played with the idea, still reluctant to give it too much thought and kept doing what I was doing. I met with others who showed me that this work to blend faith and dementia on a grand scale was/ is needed. Through our conversations, meetings with care partners, church leaders, and with individuals living with the diagnosis, I saw how thirsty those on the dementia journey were for the ability to live the dignity of their faith, in the richness and vibrancy of each tradition. I longed for this, “I” to turn into a “we.”

With my own little informal research process and years of experience under my wings, I went on my way and was finally convinced that a non-profit was the way to go. Still unsure if I was the right person for the job, I placed it in God’s hands and told Him that if this is to be, He must open the doors. The logistics of starting a non-profit are daunting to say the least, and I trusted that He would light the way. It was time to take a small part of my work with the Dementia Letters Project, (at the time called the St. Dymphna Dementia Ministry) and put out into the deep.

This all came to be because of nudges from God and the pulling of the Holy Spirit. Well, here we are 9 months into this journey and I am thinking about all that has occurred over these past few months and all that we have yet to accomplish. I believe that this cannot be an, “I” but a “we.” And very soon, starting with the Advent retreat, this ministry will start to open its doors wide to the greater community.

Getting here has not been easy, and it will continue to have its challenges. There have been people within both the Catholic and Dementia professions who have doubted the mission and sometimes even the need for The Hem of Christ. In the world today you say the word Catholic and people run for the hills. You say the word Dementia and they run without even saving goodbye. You say the words Catholic and Dementia in a sentence and they run faster and further away. But God has placed this ministry here for a specific reason. So, for the Glory of God Alone, we march forward.

Now, time for more Hot Chocolate! Say a few prayers for me, will ya?