Letter to the Church – The Beauty of Elderhood

We sit in this space between celebrating the 3rd World Day for Grandparents and Elders and the start of World Youth Day in Portugal. These two events in the Church, show us the beauty of life and the importance of honoring the life of our youth AND our elders. 

Over the past decade or so, the Church has been focusing on the youth, shifting and evolving how we minister, engage, and support those at the start of life and through to early family life. Our dioceses and parishes are filled with ministries and services to uplift the lives of those navigating adolescence into young adulthood, into marriage, and starting a family or entering religious life. But we as the body of Christ have struggled to minister, engage, and support those at the end of life. Those becoming grandparents for the first time, navigating illness, frailty, and loss of siblings, the death of husbands and wives, and the continued need for close friends in the final chapters of life. We scatter like squirrels away from a chasing dog when we instead should be running towards them with the excitement we held as grandchildren when we would stop by for a visit. 

Grandparent and Grandchild

As youth and young adults, we should be fired up for serving our elders. We should embrace our loved ones with dementia, looking into their eyes and seeing Christ. It is through our elders, our grandparents, that we discover how to live out the faith. It is in loving those at the end of life, living with dementia, or with some level of frailty that we receive one of the great gifts from God. We have an opportunity to love Jesus more, to live out the works of mercy, to grow in virtue and holiness, and to receive the stories and wisdom our elders have to pass down. Even when words cannot be spoken, their presence shows us how to carry our crosses, how to see Christ in suffering, and how to accompany each other on our journey of faith. Yes, we should be fired up for serving our elders. It is not seen as a glamorous ministry, but it is a holy one. It may not get the attention of the media, seat at the table of Church dialogue or place within our diocesan offices, yet we are called by God to receive the gift that our elders are to the world. We are sent to enter into relationships building bonds beyond childhood and elderhood. 

As middle-aged members of the Church sitting between being someone’s child and having children of our own, it is our job to make sure our children have relationships with the elders in our lives. Grandparents, great aunts and uncles, neighbors, and those within our parishes are worthy of connection. We bring with us our relationships with our parents, aunts, uncles, and others, the trials, the joys, and the moments both strong and strained. We should not let this deter us from allowing our children to discover the wonder and lessons our elders have to share. There is still time to repair relationships and get to know and understand those who raised us and those we see each Sunday. 

As elders ourselves, may we see within ourselves our dignity, given to us by God, and never revoked because of mistakes, sinfulness, suffering, and loss. We continue to grow in our relationship with Jesus, and through our living out of the faith, we have a chance to share what might be our greatest gift, the gift of the faith, with those who witness our lives. Let our families and parish communities see us in the pews, praying in the Adoration Chapel, going to Confession. Let them see us reach out to our priest or deacon when we can no longer attend Mass each Sunday. Let them see us read, and study our faith, even if we might not remember it tomorrow. Let suffering and loss not overtake us, but may we share with others how we are still learning to carry our cross. When the Church forgets us, may we refocus our gaze on the Father. When our seat at the table vanishes, may we come to ask the Holy Spirit to help us discover where we should serve. 

As elders, your role in the Church may look different today than it did 50 years ago, but the Church NEEDS you. It needs the gifts you have to share, the gift that you are to your community. Even in the final moments of life, your gift still has worth, and your life still has dignity. 

May this time show us how we can create something new, tailor what exists, and find ways to serve both the youth and the elders, no longer making it an either/or but a both/and. May we discover the beauty, truth, and goodness of each human life regardless of age and the trials and limitations that come with one’s life journey. May we come to see the face of Christ in each person we meet. In their suffering, may we help them touch the hem of Christ, and in their moments of joy, may we pray in thanksgiving for the gifts we have been given. 

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