There is a saying that states, “God writes straight with crooked lines.” We never know where our path in life will take us, we never know who we will encounter and and how God will work through each person we meet. Our expectations, our dreams, and the reality before us can often differ. We even can go to a program such as the GIVEN Forum thinking, believing that God will work in a certain way, but in the end it is an introduction in the very last minutes, as decorations are being packed up, and tables torn down, that becomes that moment that shifts the trajectory of a life. A moment when God whispers, “Go. I will clear and light the path.”
In 2022, I was back at GIVEN for the second time, this time working as an Action Plan Strategist. Throughout the week, I mentored participants as they prepared for the Year of Accompaniment with their assigned mentor. It was a joy to meet each person and listen to their stories. I was grateful for the gift of hearing the dreams each woman had for their life and their action plan. I was filled with excitement thinking of the fruits of this year’s forum. It never occurred to me that my life too would be changed by our time spent together.
All week I knew there was a Carmelite Sister for the Aged and Infirm attending as a mentor. This Sister was from an Order that I have known about for many years, thought about exploring a discernment in joining for a moment, and admired. Heck, I placed their Foundress, Venerable Mother Angeline on of my Spiritual Advisors for my work with the Hem of Christ. (How I found her, or she found me is another story for another time.) All week, I knew that I wanted to introduce myself, but in the busyness of the Forum, I almost didn’t approach Sr. Mary O’Donovan, that was until we ended up at the information table at the same time about an hour before the end of the Forum. Nervously, I turned to say, “Hi, I’m Kate Fassbender and I admire your Order and the work you do. I work in Dementia Education, Care, and Faith.” Feeling that “facepalm” feeling of that not exactly being my desired introduction, Sr. Mary, with a great smile, warmly introduced her self, pulled me over to the table where information about the Carmelites sat, she gave me her card, asked me for mine, and told me there was a someone she wanted me to meet. She informed me that I would love meeting with this Sister and that she will pass along my information. I thanked her and we continued talking as we walked back into the auditorium for the final moments of the Forum.
Two months later, entering into my inbox was an email from a Sister M. Peter Lillian Di Maria. This was the Sister, Sr. Mary wanted me to meet. Life, and the messiness of it during that August and the months that followed lead to one reply email falling through the cracks. Her email, still there, waiting. This past June when I was catching up on all things lost, I came back to that email from Sr. Peter and holding my breath I replied, praying the door had not yet closed. To my great surprise, Sister emailed me back asking if I was available the Friday after the 4th of July. Of course! I put it on my calendar and as the days approached, there was something different about my anticipation for this meeting. It was a meeting to learn more about the Avila Institute, to share my work, and to meet the person that Sr. Mary said I should meet. It was, in my mind a longed for meeting to know that I was not alone in my journey as a Catholic in Dementia Care. Which, in today’s world, it can feel increasing isolating as the secular society tightens its grip.
That Friday came, and our conversation flew by, there was a peace to it, a joy. At the end of the meeting, Sr. Peter asked me if I would consider applying to become a faculty member for the Avila Institute of Gerontology (which, spoiler alert, I perused and accepted), but she said something that has stuck with me, she ended or conversation saying that the Holy Spirit plants seeds, and sometimes they become singular moments and not meant to last, while others are planted deep and grow into beautiful trees. I didn’t know at the time that this moment was supposed to grow into a tree, but I prayed it would. In a post-COVID world, working as a contractor worker in health care was even more of an uphill battle then it had been, and I longed for a professional community, a chance to work with others instead of in my own little bubble. Sr. Peter, through the workings of the Holy Spirit, helped God answer a prayer I didn’t know how to pray.
I sit here writing this while traveling to one of the many Homes within the Carmelite system. I have found a place where I can use the gifts I have, the gift that I am, to magnify the beauty of each resident, of each health care worker, of each community of care, strengthened by the very gift that the Carmelite Sisters are to the world. Yes, God does in fact write straight with crooked lines. He guides us through each moment of difficulty, learning, newness, and joy. When we dare to reach out, to follow the guiding of the Holy Spirit, we can find ourselves living out who we are in profoundly beautiful ways. I reconnected with Sr. Mary on my first trip to Avila for the AIG Leadership conference, greeting as if only a day had passed since our introductions in June of 2022, and I will be forever grateful for that final hour of GIVEN, when God whispered, “Go, I will clear and light the path.”